Probably Brilliant

wellthatsjustgreat:

“I’m assuming you don’t have children…”

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Ah! The classic go to fallacy employed by every lazy, selfish parent on the planet. I am not a parent so how dare I criticize anything that a parent does? After all, parenting is the hardest job in the world! Yep. Right now there are Marines in firefights in Afghanistan thinking to themselves, “Whew! At least I’m not parenting!”

I was never a Nazi, but I’m comfortable saying they were pricks. And I’m not a pedophile, but I’m comfortable calling them a danger to society. And I am not a parent, and yet somehow I think it’s within my rights to call you a selfish, self absorbed twat when you let your hatchling grope half the food and utensils at the salad bar in between nose, ear, and eye fingerings.

You know what kind of parents throw out the “I’m assuming you don’t have children” line? Parents who let their children run roughshot over them because it’s too hard to be an actual parent. And you know what those kids grow up to be? That 14-year-old who ate nothing but chicken nuggets her whole life.

I do have a child. An 8 year old girl who’s the fucking bomb. She behaves in restaurants and eats calamari and reads at a 6th grade level. And do you know why she rocks so hard? Because I occasionally tell her “No”. It might upset her a little. It might upset her a lot. Hell, in the early days, we might have actually had to inconvenience ourselves (GASP) and remove our child from a situation so as to A) not disturb the other people around us, and B) handle our child’s behavior in a more direct fashion. And you know what? That’s fine. She’s not a doll, she’s a human fucking being, and it’s my responsibility to make sure she doesn’t grow up to be the kind of dipshit who feels like she can throw any bullshit excuse up on the wall to justify her lazy behavior.